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<h1><a href="https://archiveofourown.org/works/29582715">Nothing Breaks Like A Heart</a> by <a class='authorlink' href='https://archiveofourown.org/users/H3avydirtysoul/pseuds/H3avydirtysoul'>H3avydirtysoul</a></h1>

<table class="full">

<tr><td><b>Category:</b></td><td>Harry Potter - J. K. Rowling</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Genre:</b></td><td>Alternate Universe, Alternate Universe - Soulmates, Bottom Severus Snape, Gay Sex, Getting Together, Light Angst, M/M, Oral Sex, Rimming, Smut, Soulmate-Identifying Marks, Soulmates, Top Harry Potter</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Language:</b></td><td>English</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Status:</b></td><td>Completed</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Published:</b></td><td>2021-02-20</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Updated:</b></td><td>2021-02-26</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Packaged:</b></td><td>2021-05-16 00:08:57</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Rating:</b></td><td>Explicit</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Warnings:</b></td><td>No Archive Warnings Apply</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Chapters:</b></td><td>3</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Words:</b></td><td>10,638</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Publisher:</b></td><td>archiveofourown.org</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Story URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/works/29582715</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Author URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/users/H3avydirtysoul/pseuds/H3avydirtysoul</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Summary:</b></td><td><div class="userstuff">
              <p>Severus Snape spends part of his life hoping the mark shows somewhere on his body. Anywhere.<br/>He doesn't get one as a child, he doesn't get one as a teenager. He doesn't hope for it after that.<br/>When it finally does, what is he supposed to do with it? He's twenty, for fuck's sake, most people get theirs before ten.<br/>He doesn't care anymore. It's his turn to ignore fate.<br/>But he can't predict the future, and twenty years is a long time.<br/>Things change.</p>
            </div></td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Relationships:</b></td><td>Harry Potter/Severus Snape</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Comments:</b></td><td>41</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Kudos:</b></td><td>644</td></tr>

</table>

<a name="section0001"><h2>1. The Lightning Bolt</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>Welcome to what I like to call a glitch in the matrix.<br/>I was in the middle of writing a continuation of another fanfic when I came up with this plot and I immediately started writing. You know, just in case inspiration decides to fuck off.<br/>Soulmates are one of the tropes I love to read the most, so here is one of my own.<br/>Enjoy the reading!<br/>PS: This chapter was sponsored by the song Visions of Gideon, by Sufjan Stevens.</p></blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>It's a world where everyone has a soulmate. Still, that doesn't mean that everyone gets to meet their better half. The person that shares your soulmate tattoo may exist on the other side of the world. They may live in the same city, but never cross paths with you. But even so, there's a possibility. As long as your tattoo isn't faded, you have a chance of meeting them, however small.</p><p>People who have no tattoo, however, can't say the same. Soulmates can exist in different centuries. If you spend an entire life without getting one, it means that you were born a century too early. Either that or your soulmate lived and died before you came into existence. A soulmate who's no longer there, whom you'll never have a chance of meeting. No tattoo to show for. Why would the universe be so cruel?</p><p>Worse fate than never having a tattoo is seeing your soulmate tattoo fade. Waking up one morning and it's just not as vivid as it once was, as it was the night before when you went to bed. All hope you've ever had, gone, just like that.</p><p>Most people who are fated to have a tattoo within their lifetime but are born without one usually get it before they turn ten. Some people get it later in life, but those are a minority. Some of those people despair until then, thinking they won't have the chance. Some just accept their lack of a tattoo. And of those who have a tattoo, some accept the fact that they may never find their soulmates and settle for others, loving them all the same. Except it will never be the same.</p><p>Severus Snape doesn't get one until he's past twenty.</p><p>As a young boy, Severus marvels at the idea of someone who you'll feel so at ease with, who will love you so much and to whom you'll give the same love in return. His parents aren't soulmates, so if he's lucky enough to get one, he won't have to wait until he reaches maturity, at sixteen. He frequently searches his body for that happy little mark, in hopes that it's already there.</p><p>As he gets older, though, his enthusiasm subsides. Not only because he becomes more mature, but also because he gets tired of looking for something that isn't there. Every time one of his classmates claims they've gotten theirs he can't help but feel a pang in his chest and touch it, as if that could ease the pain he's feeling.</p><p>By the time he's eleven, he's ready to give up.</p><p>“But mum, most people have theirs before ten! I'm eleven now. Pretty much every classmate has theirs.” He rants to his mother one day after school, on a day another of his classmates went to school with a mark to show. “What... What if I never get one? What if they're already dead?”</p><p>“Severus, son, most people doesn't mean all people.” She says, sitting down so that she's at eye level with him. “Didn't you just say your classmate Jessabelle got hers today?”</p><p>“She's ten.”</p><p>“Do you know Mrs. Higgins, who lives across the street? Her late husband didn't get his until he was fourteen.”</p><p>Severus sighs, feeling subdued. It's hard evidence, but it doesn't mean he feels convinced. And it shows because when he turns fourteen he doesn't even blink when he checks his body for it and finds nothing. He doesn't look for a year. When he does check again, the day before he turns fifteen, he wipes a single tear from his face and looks in the mirror. He snorts and sneers. It's understandable. With looks like his, who would want him? Who would love him?</p><p><em>Guess I'll have to settle for someone else or no one at all</em>, he thinks, shaking his head and getting dressed. He knows that tomorrow he'll have to talk about this with Lily Evans, his best friend, when she asks if it has appeared.</p><p>They've been friends ever since Severus was five, when Lily moved to one of the houses across the street. She's always been incredibly supportive of him, even if she can't understand it. After all, she's had her tattoo ever since she can remember. Luckier, even, she met her better half – one James Potter – when she and Severus changed schools, at the age of ten.</p><p>As the years go by, Severus would be lying if he said he's not jealous of the relationship Lily and James have. The two marry straight out of secondary school, at eighteen, and two years later they have their first child. Severus is away the week of the birthday, visiting his parents, who moved to France two years back, but comes back to England on Saturday, the day Lily goes home with the baby, Harry.</p><p>He's always been close to Lily, so when he learned that she was pregnant, he was beyond happy with the news. So happy in fact that he didn't even care when Lily and James choose another person – Jame's childhood best friend, Sirius Black – to be little Harry's godfather. Fine, he was a tad hurt, but nothing that the birthday of the baby boy couldn't heal.</p><p>“Come in.” James says, stepping aside, allowing Severus to walk into their house.</p><p>“Where are they?” He asks, eagerly.</p><p>“In the living room. Come.” James leads the other man to the living room, where Lily is sitting on the sofa with a little bundle in her arms.</p><p>“Severus, you're here.” Lily says with a smile on her lips, her eyes finding her friend standing near the door. “Come meet little Harry.”</p><p>And so he goes, approaching the sofa and sitting down. Lily hands him the baby, whom he takes into his arms with all the care in the world.</p><p>“He's so perfect...” Severus whispers, carefully not to wake the baby up. “Even if he seems to take after his father.” He looks at James, who rolls his eyes. There has never been lost love between the two of them, but since they've reached adulthood their relationship has greatly improved.</p><p>“Then you may rejoice in the fact that his eyes are possibly all Lily's. It's still very uncertain, but I'm betting on it. Sirius does too.”</p><p>Severus smiles and looks at Lily's eyes, which have always been a very fascinating shade of green. Harry is still sleeping peacefully in his arms.</p><p>“I'm very happy for you both. For the three of you, actually.” He says and his attention his back on the baby, taking in every detail. “If you ever need anyone to take care of him so that you can go out on date night, count me in. I know the little one will have no shortage of people who'd like to take care of him, but still.”</p><p>“Sirius and Remus were quite taken as well. The grandparents, too. He's so loved.”</p><p>“Yes, he is.” Severus agrees, caressing a tiny hand. The little fingers wrap around his index finger, surprising him. He looks at the baby and notices Harry is still asleep.</p><p>“You'll stay for dinner?”</p><p>“Oh, I don't want to impose. I imagine you must be terribly busy at the moment. You've got a handful now.”</p><p>Lily snorts.</p><p>“I've got <em>two </em>handfuls now, you mean. We're ordering delivery, anyway. Spend some more time with Harry.”</p><p>“How can I say no to that?” He asks, smiling down at the little bundle of joy one more time.</p>
<hr/><p>Things take a dramatic turn a week from then when Severus is doing some research on Chemistry for the upcoming year at the university's library. It's the second week of August and, like so, it's very quiet. He prefers it that way, obviously, since it allows him better concentration. It's hot even inside and his hair is up in a bun, which is something he doesn't usually do, preferring his hair to be down.</p><p>He's almost done taking some notes when he feels someone's presence behind him. He turns abruptly, a frown on his face, the unpleasant sound of the chair scraping against the floor making heads turn. And effectively scaring the girl behind him.</p><p>“What?” He asks, his eyebrows furrowed in obvious irritation.</p><p>“Sorry. I'm sorry, I didn't mean to be rude.” She apologises. “I was just taking a better look at your mark. I thought I'd seen it before but it's different. Sorry to have disrupted you.”</p><p>She's already taking a step back when Severus stands.</p><p>“What mark?”</p><p>“The one on the back of your neck? The lightning bolt? Quite unusual.” She says, pointing vaguely at him. “You didn't know?”</p><p>Severus is at a loss for words. Is this girl mocking him? But why would a stranger do that?</p><p>“I... If it's on the back of my neck, how would I know?” He says defensively, his hands touching the mentioned spot.</p><p>“I guess you're right, I suppose it's usually hidden. But it's there. Have a nice day, and sorry to have bothered you.” She finally leaves, but Severus's attention is no longer on her. Instead, he's hastily grabbing his things and shoving them into his messenger's bag. He has to get home and<em> fast</em>.</p><p>It takes him about half an hour to get to his flat. He drops his bag on the floor of the hall and rushes to the bathroom, where he picks a small mirror from the cabinet and places it behind his neck, the reflection hitting the mirror above the sink. It<em> is </em>there.</p><p>A lightning bolt-shaped tattoo.</p><p>Severus used to cry when he was younger, an obvious sign of the disappointment and hurt he felt at not having a soulmate. When he reached fifteen, he stopped, accepting that it wasn't happening to him. Not then, not ever. But here and now, in his bathroom, at the age of twenty, staring at the reflection of his very own soulmate mark, of course he cries. He does so because the child that he once was still lives in him. Because as much as he tried to accept his fate, hope never really leaves, it just sinks. But it doesn't matter how deep it sinks, hope can always resurface. And it does this time.</p><p>He's a mess, crying in front of the mirror, his knuckles white from holding onto the sink. He cries and he sobs, unable to regain control. There's a sort of happiness in him, a sense of closure.</p><p><em>I am worthy</em>, he thinks, shaking his head in disbelief. He wipes away the tears with the back of his hand and brings the little mirror up again. It's <em>still</em> there.</p><p>But as quickly as hope resurfaced and filled him with happiness, it is snatched away by reality, leaving him feeling cold and void. He's now just staring at his reflection, his eyes dry, his usually pale skin now even paler. He's finally realised what this means.</p><p><em>It's a baby. My soulmate is a baby</em>, he thinks, leaving the bathroom and heading to his bedroom without sparing the mirror another glance. He wants to sleep. He doesn't want to think about this anymore, doesn't want to suffer because of this again. As he falls onto his bed and closes his eyes, ready to drift off to sleep, sad thoughts fill his mind. Why would this happen to him? Why would he be allowed hope, only to have it taken away again a second later? Why would the universe be so cruel?</p><p>It takes some time for him to digest the meaning of his soulmate mark. When he does, he accepts that soulmates can be friends, too. He's willing to be whatever his soulmate needs if he ever meets them. Be there for them, support them, care for them. And, most importantly, never hurt them.</p><p>But he's not holding his breath, waiting for that day, because he knows it might never come. He won't cry again because of this. Nor will he lose sleep over it.</p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
          <p>Thank you for making it this far, I hope I haven't disappointed you and that it was worth your time. Second and last (?) chapter is in the works and I'm hoping I'll post it until next Saturday.<br/>I apologise for any spelling or grammar mistakes you may have found.<br/>Kudos, bookmarks, and reviews are much appreciated, it's a known fuel for inspiration.<br/>Hope to see you in the next one ;)</p>
        </blockquote></div></div>
<a name="section0002"><h2>2. 20 Years Later</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>Ha!<br/>I have no self-control. This will be 3 chapters, after all, my bad. But it matters not, because I still expect to have it done by next Saturday.<br/>Thank you for the lovely comments and the kudos! Feedback is so important, I can't stress this enough.<br/>This second chapter is more Harry-centred.<br/>Enjoy!</p></blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>Harry Potter stares at his phone and bites his lip, trying to make up his mind about whether or not he should call Severus. He sighs and gives in, pressing call.</p><p>“<em>Hi, Harry. How are you?</em>” Severus's rich voice sounds from the other side and Harry just <em>knows</em> it was the right call.</p><p>“Hey, Sev. I was wondering if I can come over?” Harry deliberately ignores Severus's question in favour of his own because if he was to be truthful, he'd have to sum up a situation he'd rather go over once and in detail. Face to face.</p><p>“<em>I don't know. Can you, Harry?</em>” Severus teases, masterfully hiding his concern. Harry's avoidance of his question didn't go unnoticed.</p><p>“Ah, don't be a prat, you know what I mean. I'll be there in fifteen, okay?” Harry says, already packing a change of clothes, fully intending to spend the night.</p><p>“<em>I'll get started on dinner, then.</em>”</p><p>“Or we could order?”</p><p>Harry hears Severus sigh on the other side and chuckles.</p><p>“<em>Fine, brat. I'll order our favourite?</em>”</p><p>“Yes, please.”</p><p>“<em>All right, I'll be waiting.</em>”</p><p>“Bye, Sev.”</p><p>“<em>Bye.</em>”</p><p>They hang up the phone and Harry finishes packing, then almost runs downstairs. He goes to the living room, where he finds Lily beautifully playing the piano. A lullaby she used to sing when he was little.</p><p>“I'm not an infant anymore.” He says, smiling at his mother.</p><p>She stops playing and looks at her son and laughs, the pleasant sound of her laughter now filling the room instead of the nostalgic melody.</p><p>“You'll always be my baby, no matter how old you are.” She notices the backpack hanging on his shoulder. “You're off to spend the night at Draco's?”</p><p>Harry opens his mouth and closes it again, taken aback by the question. He shakes his head.</p><p>“No, I'm actually going to Severus's. It's been a while since I've spent the night there. We're having pizza.”</p><p>“Oh, just as fun, then. Enjoy your evening.” Lily stands and approaches Harry, hugging him. “Give him a kiss from me, yes? And behave.”</p><p>“Don't I ever?”</p><p>“Not when you're with Sirius. Thankfully, Severus is a lot more down-to-earth.”</p><p>“Er... He's nothing if not down-to-earth.” Harry corrects. “Which is why I adore him and consider him my best friend. Keeps me grounded.”</p><p>“I suppose.” She kisses his forehead. “Off you go, be careful on your way there.”</p><p>“Always am.” He winks and leaves after pressing a kiss to her cheek.</p><p>He takes a little bit more than fifteen minutes and Severus totally lets him know that.</p><p>“You're late.” Is the first thing the dark-haired man says when he opens the door and finds Harry on the other side. He folds his arms and arches an eyebrow.</p><p>“Oh, I'm sorry, did I miss my appointment?” Harry deadpans.</p><p>Severus's lips turn upwards in a minimal smile at Harry's wit and pulls him for a hug, Harry's arms immediately wrapping themselves around Severus's torso.</p><p>“Brat.” He whispers and lets go of the young man, closing the door behind them.</p><p>“Tosser.” Harry says, dropping his back on the floor of the hall and taking his shoes off.</p><p>“I'm impressed at your creativity, I really am. I feel so offended right now.”</p><p>Harry rolls his eyes at the man and goes ahead into the living room. Severus follows.</p><p>“The pizzas should be here shortly.” He says as he sits down. He watches as Harry does the same and starts fiddling with the strap of his wristwatch. Fiddling is something that Harry's always done when he's nervous about something or in deep thinking. So Severus waits for him to start talking instead of pressing him. The TV is off and the only sound that can be heard is a hint of jazz playing somewhere.</p><p>“Draco and I broke up.” Harry finally says, gazing at Severus, an indecipherable look in his green eyes.</p><p>Severus just stares for a moment. His emotions don't betray him, his face as expressionless as possible. He mulls the words over for a moment, a lot of things going through his mind. He refrains from clenching his fist when the thought that Harry is now single dares to cross his mind.</p><p>“You two broke up. As in, it was a mutual decision you both agreed upon?”</p><p>“No. It was me, actually. I... I broke up with him.”</p><p>Severus cocks his head, his eyebrows just a tad furrowed.</p><p>“I was under the impression that you were happy together. What changed?”</p><p>Harry shifts on the couch, unconsciously moving closer to Severus, his left foot now under him. Severus grimaces, thinking that nobody can possibly feel more comfortable in this particular position but says nothing.</p><p>“And we were. I was. But I think that changed two years ago or so.”</p><p>“Took you long enough.” Severus immediately regrets his words, especially as the hurt shows on Harry's face. “I'm sorry. I didn't mean it like that.”</p><p>“It's fine, I just wasn't expecting it. But you're right.”</p><p>“No, I'm not. Sometimes, things take a certain time to become clearer. Something happened that made you feel unsure and you spent these last two years trying to figure it out?”</p><p>“Yes. That's the gist of it.” Harry nods. He feels immense relief now. He knew talking with Severus was the right thing to do. He would understand him. Always had.</p><p>Severus chooses his next words carefully. It's something they've never talked about. He has an idea why, but doesn't think it's relevant.</p><p>“So it has nothing to do with your soulmate mark?”</p><p>Harry's sharp intake of breath confirms his theory that he's been told not to speak about soulmates with Severus. Possibly by Lily, knowing about his resentment. And she doesn't even know the half of it.</p><p>“So you know.” Harry says, after letting the air in his lungs go. “That I have one, that is.”</p><p>Severus shrugs.</p><p>“Your parents are soulmates. It was almost guaranteed that it'd show on your sixteenth birthday.” He says and points at Harry's left wrist. “I'm willing to bet it's under the strap of your watch.”</p><p>“Yes. I've never told you about it because mum once told me that you sort of resent soulmates and it was something better not spoken about. And I didn't want to cause you pain by bringing it up.”</p><p>“I figured it was something like that. Although it is true, I would never refuse to talk about it should you feel the need to. You know I'd never turn you down.”</p><p>“I know. But I've never felt the need to.” Harry gives Severus a reassuring smile. “And no, it doesn't. It's not that I've met my soulmate. I'm just interested in someone else, I finally realised it. I'm sure of it now and didn't want to lead him on. He took it better than I'd thought.”</p><p>Severus can't help the pang he feels in his chest. As much as he tries to deny it, as much as he tries to not even <em>think</em> about it, he's in love with Harry. Has been for a little bit more than a year, but he doesn't entertain the idea. Harry would never see him that way. They're far too close for that.</p><p><em>Not to mention the age gap</em>, Severus's mind supplies, helpfully. He suddenly remembers the promise he's made a long time ago. It almost feels like a lifetime. <em>Soulmates can be friends, too. Anything he needs me to be.</em></p><p>He clears his throat before speaking, afraid he'll stutter or other some such.</p><p>“You did what was best. He wouldn't thank you if you'd lead him on.”</p><p>Harry's next words are cut off by the doorbell ringing.</p><p>“I'll be right back.” Severus says, already standing.</p><p>“I'll get the wine and the napkins.” Harry stands as well and goes to the kitchen. He takes a moment there, leaning against the counter. His heart is racing and he's not sure if he'll be able to tell Severus everything.</p><p><em>Hey, by the way, this might sound a bit awkward, but I've been crushing on your for two years and now I'm sure it is more than just a teenage boy crush</em>, he thinks, sighing. He shakes his head and finally gets the napkins, the glasses, and the wine, taking them to the living room, where Severus already set the two pizza boxes on the coffee table.</p><p>“Thought you'd gone to my neighbour to borrow those.” Severus comments, watching Harry pour the wine into their glasses.</p><p>“Ha bloody ha. You're awfully funny tonight.” Harry hands Severus a glass, which he takes and sips from, nodding his thanks, before speaking.</p><p>“That's why you love my company, remember? My sense of humour.”</p><p>“Ah, yes. And your sparkling personality.”</p><p>“That clearly didn't rub off on you.”</p><p>“What a pity.” Harry says before taking a bite of his slice. “Hm... So good.”</p><p>Severus gives them a moment before speaking again.</p><p>“Do you want to continue the previous topic?”</p><p>Harry shakes his head.</p><p>“Maybe later.”</p><p>“Fair enough. How's work?”</p><p>“I thought you'd bring something more cheerful up?” Harry asks, a sad smile on his lips.</p><p>Severus is confused. Harry's a tattoo artist, sharing a parlour with a longtime friend of his. And as far as Severus knows, he loves his job. So what gives?</p><p>“Did something happen? Is Miss Weasley fine?” He asks and wonders if she's the one Harry's interested in.</p><p>“Oh, no. Yes, she's fine. You know Ginny, always full of fire. It's just that today I had a sad request.”</p><p>“Ah.” Severus finally understands what the problem is. Harry has never brought the soulmates topic up but Severus is aware that a lot of people choose to cover their tattoos for personal reasons. He imagines this is one of those cases.</p><p>“A young woman came in today to cover her faded tattoo. It just makes me think...” Harry suddenly stops. He bites his lip and hopes he doesn't start crying like a baby.</p><p>“Remember what I told you earlier? You're allowed to talk about it.” Severus says, thinking that only Harry can make him make an exception.</p><p>“I know. Thank you for that. You know I love talking to you, you're so wise. You always give the best advice and all.” Harry moves closer. “It's sad, is all. We cried a bit at the end of the session. She's devastated that she'll never be able to meet her soulmate and that they died. It's unfortunate.”</p><p>“Do you fear the same will happen to you?”</p><p>Harry shrugs.</p><p>“You know I've never let the knowledge of having a soulmate affect the way I live my life. But I wouldn't like to know that they've died.” He vaguely gestures to his wrist. “You don't have one, but I imagine you're somewhat able to understand. Right?”</p><p>Severus sighs and shakes his head, unsure of what to say. Or do.</p><p>“I do have one.” He ends up saying, his hand itching to touch the spot on his neck. He refrains from doing so.</p><p>Harry's green eyes widen in surprise at this. He can <em>almost</em> feel his heart cracking.</p><p>“Y-You do?” He sounds as disconsolate as he looks. He's never been good at hiding his emotions or thoughts, instead wearing his heart on his sleeve. “But mum-”</p><p>“Lily doesn't know. I've never told her. I've never told anyone, in fact.” Severus explains, clearing his throat. “It was a long time ago.”</p><p>“It's faded, is that it?”</p><p>“No.”</p><p>“Then why? Why are you so resentful?” Harry doesn't understand. He can understand someone with a mark not caring about finding their other half. But resentment... That he just cannot.</p><p>“Because it appeared when I was twenty. Do you know what that means, Harry?”</p><p>Harry remains silent, processing what he's just been told. He never knew. Never even suspected of it. He's curious, always has been, but he doesn't dare ask to see it. He decides on another course.</p><p>“Would you ever consider a relationship with someone else who's also marked, but not your soulmate?”</p><p>Severus narrows his bottomless black eyes at the young man in front of him.</p><p><em>What an odd question</em>, he thinks, leaning closer. “You're asking for a friend?”</p><p>Harry almost chokes on his own saliva. He looks away, feeling the weight of Severus's gaze on him.</p><p>“Something like that.”</p><p>“I would. It's pointless to wait for them. I don't know where they are, if I'll ever find them, if they'd even want me. Maybe they already have someone else. I would never forget to live just to wait for something that might never come.” Severus replies and notices Harry doesn't even breathe. “Have I satisfied your curiosity?”</p><p>Harry nods, deciding not to push it.</p><p>“I'm not very convinced. You've always been very curious, ever since you were a little boy.” Severus says and hands Harry's glass over to him. “Let's go back to eat before it gets cold.”</p><p>Harry gives him a small smile, adjusting his round glasses on his nose.</p><p>“Cold pizza is also very tasty.”</p><p>“Of course you'd say that. Eat.”</p><p>They go back to eat and discuss more pleasant, lighter topics while doing so. Then Harry settles in Severus's arms – his favourite spot – and they watch a movie. Harry's had one very busy week<em>, </em>so he falls asleep halfway through it. Severus looks down at him at one point, after no comments from Harry for ten minutes.</p><p><em>So beautiful, so peaceful</em>, he thinks, kissing the top of Harry's head, inhaling the scent of his black hair. Harry's always favoured peach-scented shampoos over others. <em>I'll always be here for you, my Harry.</em></p>
<hr/><p>Harry spends the following weeks very busy. He's usually busy working, and when he's not working, he's busy thinking. Thinking about what he should do about Severus, if anything at all.</p><p>Ginny, a very good friend of his and fellow tattoo artist, decides she's had enough of a very quiet Harry one afternoon in mid-September.</p><p>“Okay, Harry, it's been too long now. Care to share?” She asks after the last client leaves their tattoo parlour.</p><p>Harry looks over his shoulder, his eyebrows slightly furrowed.</p><p>“What do you mean?”</p><p>“You've been a bit quiet lately. It's been two weeks, I think. I can tell something's troubling you. I thought I'd give you time at first to figure things out, but at this point, I'm willing to offer you my help.”</p><p>“Nothing gets past you, does it?” Harry folds his arms and leans against the counter. He shakes his head, sighing. “I've no idea what I should do, Gin. I'm lost.”</p><p>“Is this still about Draco?” She asks, sitting in front of her friend, on a stool.</p><p>“No, not at all. That's over and done with.” He shakes his head, then whispers. “It's Severus.”</p><p>“What about him?”</p><p>Harry bites his lip, too embarrassed to actually say the words. Realisation dawns on Ginny's face.</p><p>“Oh, good Lord. You've fallen for him? How long?”</p><p>“Two years, give or take. I broke up with Draco once I realised it wasn't just a crush.”</p><p>She stares at him, unblinking. She's letting the information sink in before saying something.</p><p>“Wow.” She starts, her eyes wide in surprise. “You've known him since forever.”</p><p>“I know he's my parents' age and all, but-”</p><p>“That's not what I mean. He's an older man, he's... hot, in his own way. You've always been close but you've never really seen him as a father figure, have you?”</p><p>Harry shakes his head.</p><p>“I have my father. And Sirius. And Remus. So, no. Severus was always my best friend. My grownup friend.”</p><p>“You're scared of what he'll say when you tell him, is that it?”</p><p>Harry snorts.</p><p>“Will I even tell him anything, Ginny? He-” He stops himself before finishing what he was going to say. He doesn't want to betray Severus's trust, but he needs to talk about this and Ginny's the right person. “I thought he didn't have a soulmate, Gin. I was scared before, yes, but now...”</p><p>“You mean to say he has one?” Ginny's every bit as much surprised as Harry was when Severus told him the truth. “How? When?”</p><p>“Nobody knows except me. And now you.”</p><p>“This keeps getting better and better.”</p><p>“I'd say this is actually very unfortunate.”</p><p>Ginny rolls her eyes at Harry.</p><p>“I was being sarcastic.” She runs a hand through her fire red long hair, thoughtful. “He's waiting for them?”</p><p>“No, he said he wouldn't forget living because of someone he may never meet.”</p><p>“So, what's your problem?”</p><p>“My problem?” Harry snaps. “Surely you mean problems? He's my parents' age, he's known me ever since I was a little baby, so probably still sees me as a child or his best friend's son, or whatever. He has a soulmate. Should they ever meet, where will I stand? And last, but not least, what are the odds of him even considering me in such a light?”</p><p>Ginny remains quiet through Harry's rant, but once he's done, she stands and goes closer, snapping her fingers in front of his face.</p><p>“Harry, wake up! You're both consenting adults, so age is just a number. He's known you since then, yes, but has he ever treated you like a child after you've stopped being one?” Harry opens his mouth to answer, but she holds up her hand, indicating she's not finished. She's probably just getting started. “He has a soulmate, right. They could be anywhere on this fucking planet. They might meet one day, they might not. He might leave you for them, yes. Or he might not. Are you <em>really</em> not going to cease the chance of a happy life based on a <em>what-if</em>? This also applies to your last point. If he doesn't see you in that light, well, at least you'll know and be able to move on thinking that at least you tried.”</p><p>She stops talking and takes a deep breath, exhaling heavily. She narrows her gaze at him and she knows he's considering her words.</p><p>“Look, Harry, I want what's best for you and you'll have my support whatever you do. But I want you to think about this. Imagine that you choose to remain silent. The years pass and he never meets his soulmate. He also never finds a lasting relationship. You may come to regret your decision.”</p><p>“I may regret my decision if I go the other way, too.”</p><p>“Not in the same way. If he turns you down, you'll know you don't have a chance and will able to move on. You'll never wonder what it would've been like if you had said something because you did. If he ever finds his other half and leaves you, there'll be heartbreak, yes, but there'll also be good memories to cherish. And time heals.”</p><p>Harry's clenching his jaw, mulling his friend's words over for a moment or two. Her approach is a logical one, that much he can tell. He finally lets out the breath he's been holding and pulls her for a tight hug.</p><p>“What would I do without you, Gin?” He whispers against her hair, feeling much calmer once her arms are around his torso as well.</p><p>“Oh, yes, that would be a disaster.” She says, in an overdramatic voice. “I hope I don't meet an early demise.”</p><p>“Do shut up, Gin.” Harry tries to sound mad at her remark but fails by choking on his laughter.</p><p>“I'll shut up when I'm dead.” She lets go of the embrace and grabs her keys. “Come on, let's go. I'm feeling like cooking for you. Might also tell Ron to come over, how's that sound?”</p><p>Harry beams at her and grabs his backpack.</p><p>“That would be brilliant. I miss him.”</p><p>As they leave the parlour for Ginny's flat, Harry can't help but notice how much lighter he feels now that he's talked about what was consuming him. He won't agonise anymore over it. He doesn't know how, but he will let Severus knows how he feels about him. Soon enough.</p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
          <p>Thank you for reading, I hope you'll stick around till the end.<br/>I apologise for any spelling or grammar mistakes you may have found.<br/>Kudos, bookmarks, and reviews are much appreciated!<br/>Take care!</p>
        </blockquote></div></div>
<a name="section0003"><h2>3. Bolt Meets Bolt</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>Hello again!<br/>First of all, thank you to everybody who left a kudo, a bookmark, or a comment. It's very motivating.<br/>Like I promised, here's the last chapter. I apologise in advance if anyone following this story isn't into bottom Severus but I decided this last minute. It's a perspective I've never written and thought this was as good a time as any.<br/>I hope you like this chapter, enjoy!</p></blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>A week later finds Harry sitting beside Severus on the man's couch, both with their laptops on their laps. It's Sunday and the young man decided it was as good a day as any to start looking for his own flat, something he's been thinking about for at least half a year now but has been postponing.</p><p>“Thanks for helping me with this, Sev. I really appreciate it.” Harry says, smiling at his friend.</p><p>Severus snorts.</p><p>“This has been an on-again, off-again topic for some time now. I figured you'd need a little hand if you're ever going to move out of your parents' house.”</p><p>Harry frowns.</p><p>“What's wrong with living with them?”</p><p>Severus stops staring at his laptop's screen and looks at Harry. His hair is tied up in a bun and he's wearing a black polo neck with light grey joggers. It's a look Harry secretly loves, especially the hair.</p><p>“I didn't say there was anything wrong with it, did I? But you've expressed desire in moving out enough times that I think it's something you really want. I just don't understand why it took you so long to actually do it.”</p><p>Harry sucks his bottom lip, choosing his words carefully. The reason he's doing so now is because he wants to spend more alone time with Severus but doesn't want to impose too much by coming to his place every single time. So he <em>needs </em>his own space.</p><p>“I've wanted it for a while, that's true. But now I need it. It's not just simply wanting it.” He says, staying truthful to his reasons.</p><p>Severus presses his lips into a thin line.</p><p>“Does this has anything to do with your new paramour?” He asks, turning his attention back to his research. He already has a string of tabs open in his browser with potential flats, ready to show them to Harry and ask for his opinion.</p><p>“My what now? He's not my-” Harry hurries saying, his eyebrows furrowed, but suddenly stops when he notices Severus's lips curving ever so slightly upwards. “Oh, do shut up, you tosser.”</p><p>“Did I touch a nerve?” Severus teases. He usually takes great pleasure in doing so because Harry always falls for it.</p><p>“No. I was just clarifying.” Harry says, clearing his throat. He decides to change the subject. “How's your research going?” He asks, leaning closer to Severus and looking over at the laptop's screen. “Wow, yours is going so much better than mine!”</p><p>“That's because I'm very selective and don't dilly dally, unlike some.” Severus gives Harry a pointed look. He then brings forward the tab with the flat he thought to be the most interesting and turns the laptop in Harry's direction. “Here, this is my first choice.”</p><p>Harry takes a look at the photos and the flat description. It's a loft and Harry immediately falls in love with it. It's within the price range and even a little bit closer to the parlour than his parents' house.</p><p>“It's perfect, this one. Can I take a look at the others?” He asks and Severus hands him over the laptop.</p><p>“Have fun, I'm going to make us some tea and sandwiches.”</p><p>“Thanks, Sev. You're the best.” He beams at the older man before starting to go through Severus's other choices.</p><p>Time seems to fly as he does so because Severus is back in what feels like a snap.</p><p>“So?”</p><p>“I've picked four and I'm going to message landlords to ask for a viewing of each as soon as possible.” Harry says, reaching for his mug of tea and blowing the hot liquid. His gaze falls on Severus's own mug and he smiles. “You still have it, I love that.”</p><p>“Hm?” Severus looks at him, confused, and then realises Harry's talking about the mug he's holding. It's white but has the phrase <em>Harry's Bestest Friend's Mug </em>written in dark green lettering on it. A gift from the little one when he was about six. “Of course I do. It's my favourite mug.”</p><p>Harry says nothing for a while, rejoicing at the warm, fuzzy feeling that he feels wrapped in. They eat and drink in silence, simply and secretly enjoying each other's company. Severus is the first to break the silence, albeit reluctantly.</p><p>“Do you wish me to go with you see the flats or you've got someone else better in mind?”</p><p>Harry is finishing chewing the last bite of his sandwich and that's a good thing. Otherwise, he might say something he'll end up regretting.</p><p>“You know there's no such person.”</p><p>“Yet.” Severus murmurs, unable to stop himself from doing so. He can't even put to words how he's been feeling every time he imagines Harry with someone else. He pushes that thought away and takes a deep breath. “I'm sorry. I'm not being a very good friend.”</p><p>“I think I understand.” Harry gives Severus a strange look, as if he's trying to read his mind. “You're jealous because I've just come out of a relationship, you have me all to yourself, and you don't want that to be over just yet. Is that it or am I presuming too much and overstating my importance?”</p><p>Severus knows a lifeline when he sees one, so he doesn't think twice before grasping this one.</p><p>“Yes. I think that's exactly it.” He agrees, shaking his head. “I suppose I missed you.”</p><p>“So did I.” Harry doesn't know whether to feel happy or disappointed. “So, we're viewing them together?”</p><p>“Yes, surely. Assuming we're able to go sometime within the next week and a half. I'm going to France after that for a week.”</p><p>Harry opens his mouth and closes it again. He didn't know about this.</p><p>“Work?” He finally says.</p><p>“No, on holiday. Before classes start again.”</p><p>“Oh...” Harry lets out, falling silent. Severus used to invite him on holiday before. It seems even that has changed. Or maybe he's going with someone? Harry feels a lump form in his throat at the thought.</p><p>“Is everything all right? Harry?” Severus touches his arms after calling his name a couple of times and getting no answer.</p><p>“Y-Yes? Yes, it is. It's just... Are you going with someone?”</p><p>Severus raises an eyebrow.</p><p>“No.” He replies, trying to understand where that has come from. Suddenly, it hits him. “Would you like to come?”</p><p>“That obvious, huh?” Harry's cheeks are flushed and he lets out a chuckle to hide his embarrassment. Not that he believes he can fool Severus, of course, because he can't.</p><p>Severus smiles at the younger man.</p><p>“I'll let the hotel know you're coming with me. However...” He trails off, suddenly looking a bit unsure.</p><p>“However?”</p><p>“It was the last room available, I'm afraid. It has a double bed, though. Care to share?”</p><p>“Not a problem.” Harry says and swallows, his heart picking up the pace. He'll be sharing a bed with Severus. In France. Somehow, he feels like the next week and a half will take a long time.</p>
<hr/><p>It's beautiful. It's different than the other cities Harry's been to, even in France. Over the years, Severus has taken Harry with him on holidays to France, when visiting his parents, who used to live down south. Paris, though, is a whole different thing. Harry is mesmerised from the moment they arrive at the city centre from Orly Airport. The first thing he does once they're out of Bir-Hakeim tube station is look around.</p><p>“Where is it?” He asks, sounding more like a 5-year-old rather than the young adult he is.</p><p>“Patience. We have to walk a bit, the buildings are rather tall. But it's just around the corner over there.” Severus points at an intersection ahead, looking amused at Harry's antics.</p><p>The walk to the hotel takes about ten minutes, with Harry stopping every now and again to take a photo of the impressive tower, the iron beauty. There's a lot of gaping involved, too. Once they reach the hotel's lobby, they check-in fairly quickly and go up to their room. Ever the child, Harry jumps onto the bed, looking much like a starfish, arms and legs all spread out. He raises his head and stares through the window.</p><p>“The view is amazing.” He still sounds surprised.</p><p>“You'll like it even more at night.” Severus says, settling their things in place.</p><p>“I know I will.” Harry says, not only referring to the Eiffel Tower, which he's sure will be even more breath-taking once the lights are on.</p><p>“You'll be in for a surprise when we go up to Normandy on Wednesday.”</p><p>Harry sits up, looking with interest at Severus.</p><p>“What's in Normandy?” He asks, his curiosity clear, both in his voice and his eyes.</p><p>“You'll see.”</p>
<hr/><p>They spend the next days enjoying Paris and its marvels. They visit museums, walk the streets, take photos, eat the different meals throughout the day in different places. They don't limit themselves to the capital, though, deciding to go as far as Chartres to see the impressive cathedral or to stay closer and visit the Palace of Versailles and its expansive gardens. On Wednesday, as Severus had said, they drive up north to Normandy and spend the day at Le Mont-Saint-Michel. More breath-taking than the view of the island, in Severus's opinion, is Harry's reaction to the sight of it. He knows that, at this moment, Harry thinks the 4-hour drive to get there was more than worth it. It's something you don't see every day, such an imposing structure that rises from rock in the middle of the sea. They take their time exploring the town, visiting the shops and the abbey. When they go back to the car, Harry's backpack weighs a tad more.</p><p>Once they're back at the hotel, they take turns in the shower and dress up for dinner, choosing to pay a visit to the hotel's restaurant, rather than going out after such a tiring day. Severus finds Harry to be unusually quiet throughout the dinner, so he asks about it during dessert.</p><p>“Is something the matter?”</p><p>Harry looks up from his half-eaten crème brûlée, appearing rather startled.</p><p>“Oh, no. I was just thinking that our time here is almost over.” He lies smoothly, making eye contact. Severus doesn't need to know that he was thinking about how he hasn't breached the subject of his interest in the older man. Their time in Paris is almost up and he feels that he'll regret it if he doesn't say or do something whilst they're here. They're spending time together and they're relaxed, away from responsibilities.</p><p>It's the perfect setting and Harry's letting it go to waste.</p><p>“Ah, yes. Makes me sad, too.” Severus agrees, his eyes narrowed at Harry as he thinks if maybe there's more to Harry's quietness than just what he said. But he doesn't press.</p><p>Twenty minutes later, they go back to their room. Severus locks himself in the bathroom first, going through his bedtime routine as Harry sits on the modern armchair in one of the corners, staring at the tower outside but not really seeing it. It's Severus's voice that brings him out of his trance-like state.</p><p>“It's all yours.” He says, getting in bed. He's got a book on the bedside table, which he picks up and opens on a marked page.</p><p>Harry smiles at him and gets his things, leaving for the bathroom. A few moments later, he comes out, wearing only his pyjama bottoms. He feels a lot more nervous than he looks as he approaches the bed.</p><p><em>I must be mad</em>, he thinks, taking off his wristwatch and placing it on the little table, taking his time, avoiding looking at Severus because he can't just yet.</p><p>Severus, on the other hand, makes no effort to look away from Harry. His black eyes take in the sight in front of him. The lightly haired chest and the toned abs of Harry, the delicious happy trail that leads south and disappears into the bottoms. In a moment of weakness, he imagines his tongue mapping Harry's torso.</p><p>“W-What are you doing?” Severus bites his tongue, punishing himself for stuttering. He never does, even when nervous, but he's having a hard time now not letting his self-control slip away. His throat is suddenly very dry and his tongue feels like sandpaper.</p><p>“Getting ready to bed?” Harry finally meets Severus's gaze, looking slightly abashed.</p><p>“Naked, Harry. Looking... like that.”</p><p>“Looking good?” Harry raises an eyebrow, a grin on his lips.</p><p>Severus growls. He sends his glare of death in Harry's direction, but there's no real intent behind it.</p><p>“You're impossible, brat.”</p><p>“Your brat.” Harry joins Severus on the bed. He remains quiet for a while after that, and so does Severus.</p><p>“You removed your watch.” Severus says, looking pointedly at Harry's left wrist.</p><p>Harry clears his throat, a serious expression on his face.</p><p>“I figured that since you're one of the most important people in my life, it'd only be fair to share this piece of me with you. I <em>want</em> to share it with you.”</p><p>Harry's words go straight to Severus's heart, its beating increasing considerably. He feels more confused than he has in a while. And scared, if he's willing to admit it. He's not sure what Harry's intentions are, for one. Secondly, he fears Harry's mark won't match his own. He's been almost certain for a while now that they're fated, that being the only explanation to justify their connection to one another and the way Severus feels when he's with Harry and the need to always support and protect him. He's always thought that friend would be the furthest he'd go and he'd made peace with that, in a way. But here and now, a part of Severus wonders if he can be more.</p><p>“Why?” Severus's gaze is scorching, such is the intensity of it, the emotions in it.</p><p>“Because I love you, that's why!” Harry's words sound more like a plea than anything else. A plea for what, he's not sure. Be taken seriously, perhaps? He hopes Severus believes him.</p><p>“You don't need to show me your tattoo.” Severus says rather quietly. He brings up a hand to Harry's face, caressing it, feeling the stubble against his palm. “Different tattoos wouldn't change the way I feel for you.”</p><p>Harry closes his eyes and enjoys the warmth of Severus's hand on his cheek. Then he turns his face and kisses it.</p><p>“I've wanted this for so long, Sev.” He whispers against the hand, pressing another kiss to it.</p><p>“So have I.”</p><p>Harry then takes the book Severus had been reading, now lying forgotten on the man's lap, and places it on the bedside table, so that he can take its place, straddling the man.</p><p>“Hm... Feels so good here.” The young man grins, rocking his hips.</p><p>“Does it now?” Severus's hands come up to rest on Harry's waist, caressing the skin there, feeling the muscle underneath. “We don't have to do anything.”</p><p>“I want to. But we don't have to if you don't want it. It's fine.” Harry's green eyes are focused on Severus's. He wants the man to have no doubts whatsoever that he means this.</p><p>Severus's reply is a kiss to Harry's lips. One, two, three, until both part their lips and allow tongues to meet and twist<em>, </em>before going deeper and exploring each other's mouths. Harry starts rolling his hips, rubbing his semi against Severus's, moaning obscenely into his mouth. Severus's hands slide downwards, cupping Harry's buttocks as an incentive, making their clothed cocks rub harder against one another.</p><p>In a matter of seconds, they're both panting into the kiss, Harry finally deciding to break it and have a good look at his lover. Severus's eyes look even darker than usual, bottomless pits of lust, both of them.</p><p>“Need to see you naked, Sev.” Harry whispers, a hand on the side of Severus's neck, caressing his jawline. Severus turns his head a bit and sucks the delicious thumb into his mouth, closing his eyes while doing so. “Fuck, Sev... That's so hot.”</p><p>The man lets go of the thumb, his intense gaze now back on Harry's matching one.</p><p>“Get off my lap or I can't undress.” Severus says, his voice just a little bit rougher than usual. Nerves or anticipation, he can't tell.</p><p>“Yes, sir.” Harry does as told and watches with increased interest as Severus removes his sleeping shirt and bottoms. He's slim, but not scrawny, his muscles slightly toned. His chest hair is even sparser than Harry's and his nipples darker. Harry wants to latch his mouth onto them and abuse them thoroughly. How responsive is Severus? He can't wait to find out.</p><p>So he doesn't wait, instead wrapping a hand around Severus's half-hard cock, which was previously lying against his thigh. It's long rather than thick and Harry catches himself thinking if he can fit it all in. He moans at the thought.</p><p>“What is it?” Severus asks, his eyes fixed on the hand touching him. He bites his lip to prevent a moan from escaping.</p><p>“I was wondering... if I could fit it all in.” Harry whispers, grazing the tip of Severus's cock with his thumb.</p><p>Severus shifts slightly on the bed, getting more comfortable, spreading his legs out a bit.</p><p>“There is only one way to find out.”</p><p>This is all the incentive Harry needs. He lies comfortably on the bed, on his side, and darts his tongue out, running it slowly along the shaft, feeling the veins with the tip of his tongue, while his left-hand rests at the base of Severus's cock, stroking it gently. Severus hisses in pleasure and exhales, looking down at the dirty display. His cock twitches as a million thoughts flood his mind, imagining the dirty things he and Harry will be up to because he knows for a fact that the younger man is very open to trying new things. He almost growls at the imagery his mind so helpfully provides him. He sinks his fingers into Harry's wild hair and caresses it, pulling on it once in a while, usually when Harry comes up and swirls his tongue around the leaking head. The tension starts to build up and Severus starts moving his hips ever so slowly. He can't keep his eyes off Harry's face, the feral gaze focused on the indecent way his lover's lips are wrapped tightly around his cock. His hand tightens his grip on Harry's heard and he forces the head slightly, gently forcing Harry to take in more.</p><p>Which Harry does.</p><p>Harry opens his mouth wider and tries to take in everything, hungrily but slowly, careful not to choke. The hand that had been touching Severus's cock at the base is now firmly grabbing one of his arse cheeks, nails sinking in the flesh, eliciting a pained moan from the older man, from time to time.</p><p>“Fuck, Harry... Your mouth's so hot...”</p><p>Harry tightens his lips around the stiff cock, finally feeling the tip touch the back of his throat. He hums around the shaft and keeps it there until he can't anymore and releases, coming up for a second before doing it again, and again, with more ease each time.</p><p>In a matter of seconds, it almost becomes too much for Severus. Once or twice Harry gags and Severus almost lets go, but he doesn't want to do it like this.</p><p>“H-Harry... Stop...”</p><p>Harry's green eyes look up at him, questioningly.</p><p>Severus can't answer immediately because the little minx decides to start fondling his balls and a moan is everything that leaves his mouth. It goes straight to Harry's cock, which is now tenting his pyjama bottoms, a wet spot already forming on the fabric.</p><p>“I'm not young anymore... Ah...” Severus finally manages, feeling rather sensitive.</p><p>Harry lets go of Severus's cock.</p><p>“Next time, I want you to come down my throat, yes?” He asks, sitting up and leaning in for a kiss, which Severus immediately melts into.</p><p>“Anything.” The older man whispers, a hand caressing Harry's torso, feeling every bit of skin, bone, and muscle. He brushes a thumb against a perky nipple, eliciting a gasp from the younger man. “Responsive, are we?”</p><p>“M-Maybe... But I'm more interested in seeing if you are.”</p><p>Severus raises an eyebrow at Harry's words but remains silent.</p><p>“Lay down comfortably and spread your legs for me. I want to prep you properly.”</p><p>“You want to top me?” Severus's cock twitches at the idea of being underneath Harry, taking in his cock.</p><p>“If you agree.” Harry's now kissing the man's neck, sucking at it, and licking its way towards the ear.</p><p>“Fuck if I'm saying no to that.”</p><p>“I'll fetch the lube, then.”</p><p>Severus furrows his eyebrows.</p><p>“What lube?”</p><p>“The one I brought, of course. Better safe than sorry, right?” Harry kisses him again and leaves to fetch it from his bag in the bathroom.</p><p>Severus shakes his head, amused, and lies down on the bed, gently stroking his cock, already missing the pressure and velvety feeling of Harry's mouth and tongue.</p><p><em>Fuck</em>.</p><p>When Harry comes back, he's not wearing pyjama bottoms anymore. His cock is the opposite of Severus. Not as long, but definitely thicker, pale with a soft pink head. It's half-hard and Severus can spot the veins from where he's lying on the bed, his mouth watering at the sight. The younger man stops at the end of the bed and gestures with his index for Severus to approach him.</p><p>Severus does as told, an eyebrow arched at the change of position, and Harry kneels in front of him, placing the lube bottle somewhere on the bed.</p><p>“I've changed my mind.” Harry explains, caressing Severus's thighs. “Lift your legs up and spread them. Let me see you, love.”</p><p>Severus will forever deny that a soft shade of pink tints his cheeks at Harry's words. He lifts his legs and places his hands on the back of his knees to support them, successfully exposing his arse to Harry, who wastes no time in grabbing his erection and stroking it while pressing kisses to the skin around.</p><p>“Ah, fuck... Go easy or I-”</p><p>“Shh...” Harry whispers but does as told. He runs his tongue over the skin and comes lower, running his tongue tentatively over Severus's arsehole. He's done this before, but here and now, with Severus, everything feels like it's his first time. Severus's soft gasp is reassuring enough, though, and the second time Harry presses his tongue in an upward motion, it is a lot more confident. His tongue gets wetter and he keeps licking, feeding of Severus's reactions to it.</p><p>“Harry, yes... God, it feels... Oh, fuck!”</p><p>There's a change of tone in Severus's voice when Harry finally presses his tongue into the man's arsehole, breaching the tight ring of muscle. Severus grips the soft bed cover tightly until his knuckles turn white as Harry continues to penetrate him with his tongue, going deeper and deeper each time. Severus can't imagine anything being better than this, but his back arches when the thought of Harry's cock filling him crosses his mind. It takes a lot of effort for him not to come right now, at that mere thought.</p><p>“I... Now, Harry. I need you...” He asks, his breathing ragged now. Precum has leaked from the tip of his cock and dripped to his lower belly.</p><p>Harry removes his tongue from the tight arsehole and gives it a final thorough lick, the tip of his tongue grazing Severus's balls. He stands up and means to kneel on the bed. Severus lifts his body a tad and moves backward on the bed, allowing Harry space.</p><p>“You think you need me, but you've got no idea how badly I've wanted this, Severus.” Harry says, lying on top of the older man and slicking his cock with lube, pressing the tip between the man's arse cheeks.</p><p>“I think I do, my Harry.” It's a whisper against his lover's lips as he wraps his thighs around Harry's hips, keeping him from going anywhere. As if that would ever happen.</p><p>Finally, <em>finally</em>, Harry allows himself to take what he's been hungering for for so long. He does it ever so slowly, careful not to hurt Severus. He pays attention to his reactions, but Harry sees nothing but anticipation and desire. He can't help but admiring and getting lost in Severus's face. The want and love in his eyes, the way his ebony hair is spread out on the sheets.</p><p>“You're tight, love... So tight for me...” Harry places a kiss on Severus's cheek and moves his mouth to his ear, his tongue licking along the ear shell. The body beneath him shivers.</p><p>“It's been... a long time.”</p><p>It's not long until Harry is fully sheathed. He doesn't move again for a while but reaches for Severus's cock. He's only able to brush his fingers against it before the other man has gripped his wrist.</p><p>“If you do that, I'll fucking... I'll fucking cum right now.” He breathes out, the other hand caressing Harry's back absent-mindedly. “For you, I'll cum untouched, with only your cock fucking me breathless.”</p><p>Harry's eyes darken even more, if possible, and he moans at that, pulling out just a bit. Severus hisses and he stops, but a consenting nod makes him move again. He does this a couple of times, increasing the speed ever so slightly between thrusts. It becomes easier and soon enough both settle into a comfortable rhythm, not too fast, not too slow, just enough to get both of them going.</p><p>Harry has both his hands on the sides of Severus's head, supporting his body. Their gazes lock, no words uttered, just breathless moans leaving their mouths. Words would've been superfluous, useless because their eyes say everything they could possibly want to say to one another. Severus tightens his legs more around Harry's hips, trying to get him to go deeper in him, to touch that sweet spot that will take him to heaven and back. His leaking cock rubs against the younger man's belly with every thrust, eliciting desperate moans from the older man's lips. He's a mess and he knows it – he'd never allow anyone else to see him like this. A strange heat spreads rapidly through his body, warmer and warmer, like wildfire. His arms tighten around Harry's neck, pulling him down for a kiss, with tongue and teeth and desire and lust. But none of them cares. None of them cares they're being messy because they're high, fucking high on sex and love, between erratic thrusts and bodies arching as both of them spill, as their hands grip the flesh of the other, nails scratching, eyes rolling in their sockets. Their lips are no longer locked as they moan freely, letting go of inhibitions.</p><p>“Fuck, Harry! God, yes, yes...” Severus says and keeps repeating the word like a mantra.</p><p>Harry pants heavily in Severus's ear as he releases. He looks down and sees the mess Severus has made on his belly.</p><p>“Hm... Sev, you're incredible.” Harry finally says, after swallowing in an attempt to lubricate his rather dry throat. His hair is glued to his forehead. Severus is in a similar disheveled state, a thin layer of sweat covering his now relaxed body.</p><p>The faint smell of sex permeates the room. Harry pulls out his now spent cock, slowly. He leans down and kisses Severus's hip, licking his way up to his abs, his tongue collecting the cum expertly. He then comes up and kisses Severus full on the lips, giving a taste of the man to him, which he gladly takes, licking Harry's mouth clean.</p><p>“Hm... I love you, Sev.” Harry whispers when they break the kiss, looking the man in the eye.</p><p>“So do I, my Harry.” There's a smile on Severus's lips and Harry finds it the most beautiful thing in the world. He lays beside his lover, placing his head on the chest, over Severus's heart, completely relaxing to the sound of his heartbeat. He may be imagining things, but in this moment he feels both their hearts are beating in sync.</p><p>After a moment, Severus speaks, always the voice of reason.</p><p>“Shower?”</p><p>Harry looks up at him and groans, rolling his eyes.</p><p>“Now? Can't it wait?”</p><p>“No, brat. I can't sleep like this. You're welcome to stay in bed if you're so opposed to the idea.” His voice has a hint of a challenge as if he knows that Harry won't stay behind. Which he actually does.</p><p>“No way, tosser. I've got to make sure you're thoroughly cleaned.” Harry sits up and stretches, yawning. “I'm so tired I'm sleeping right after we come back. Straight.”</p><p>Severus chuckles and shakes his head, standing up and walking to the bathroom to get the water running, Harry following close.</p><p>The tub is slowly filling with water, but patience was never Harry's strong suit, and so he gets in and sits, leaning back and relaxing. He closes his eyes and for a moment just exists, thinking of nothing but feeling everything. The scent of the essential oil – lavender – that has been added to the water, the warmth of the water touching his skin, the cold of the wall of the bathtub against his back, the relaxing sound of the water running. He's so lost in everything that he doesn't feel Severus's intense gaze on him.</p><p>His eyes open when Severus finally steps into the tub, now that the water has almost reached the top. He smiles as the man adjusts to sit between Harry's legs.</p><p>“I might just sleep here instead.”</p><p>“Oh, yes? I want to see you do that once the water turns cold.” Severus snorts and reaches for the bottle of shampoo. He pours some onto his hand and starts washing his hair, gently massaging his scalp, his eyes closed.</p><p>Suddenly, all too suddenly, he feels Harry's body tense up behind him.</p><p>“What is it?” He asks, turning his head to look over his shoulder. Still, he can't see Harry's face clearly. If he could, he'd see the mix of emotions on his face, all of them the reflection of what he's feeling on the inside. The strongest thing that Harry feels, the most overwhelming, is the feeling of coming home.</p><p>“I...” Harry starts but chokes. He swallows. “That's an interesting tattoo you have on your neck.”</p><p>Severus turns so fast in the tub some of the water spills on the floor, but he couldn't care less right now.</p><p>“Harry...”</p><p>Harry lifts a finger to Severus's lips. He blinks back the tears forming in his eyes and takes a deep breath.</p><p>“Did you know?”</p><p>Severus takes some time to answer. He chooses his words carefully.</p><p>“I... suspected it. The way I feel for you... I can't imagine feeling any more strongly for anyone else, Harry. So for a while, I thought that maybe – just <em>maybe</em> – you were the one.”</p><p>“Why didn't you tell me?”</p><p>Severus laughs, but it's mirthless.</p><p>“You were with Draco. And twenty years ago I made peace with the fact that I could be a best friend rather than a lover to my soulmate.”</p><p>Harry remains quiet for a while, letting the words sink in. Severus grabs Harry's left wrist and lifts it, seeing the same tattoo he has on his neck. Perfectly equal. He presses his lips to it.</p><p>“Nothing could make me happier than you, Harry. And this is the proof.”</p><p>Harry's arms are around Severus's neck the next second and his face is buried in the man's neck. He doesn't sob.</p><p>“I've dreamt of this, Severus. So many times.” He whispers and sighs, closing his eyes.</p><p>“So you'll consider forever with me?” Severus asks in his ear.</p><p>A shiver runs down his body, but Harry realises the water is still warm.</p><p>“With you? Always.”</p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
          <p>Good lord, what a ride.<br/>Thank you so much for making it this far, seeing this fanfic through.<br/>I apologise for any spelling or grammar mistakes you may have found.<br/>Kudos, bookmarks, and reviews are much appreciated.<br/>Take care and see you in the next one!</p>
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